You are worth it!

Ok, so it's only been two weeks since I started properly searching for a job out here so it would be unfair to say it's been tough. Instead I am going to use the word difficult. It sounds less dramatic. So yes, I am finding this job search difficult. I know there are many people back home in a lot worse situations than I am faced with today. There are people who are unemployed for months even years. They are getting jobs in big companies for a few weeks until the company decides to let them go and hire a new batch of talented people hopeful for the future but instead they lead them into a false sense of security. I get it, I empathize and its frustrating. So while I explain why I am finding the job search over here difficult, you may judge me. Keep in mind I understand other peoples struggles, I have witnessed it first hand, but this is how I feel about my current situation and this is why I am finding it difficult.

When I was about fifteen years old, I remember being in town and there was a women with her baby in a buggy stopped at a pedestrian crossing. While waiting for the lights to change, I smiled at the baby in the buggy and he instantly lit up and smiled back. I remember walking away feeling like I had actual magical powers, well not really but that baby mad me feel special that I could make him lit up just by smiling at him. That feeling stayed with me and made me repeat my leaving cert. It made me determined to go to college, to get a degree and to not let anything get in my way of what I was meant to do. I found out I had dyslexia when I was 19 years of age..19. It's mild but I struggle with reading, spelling, grammar and so on. I got no help in school and very little in college but I got my degree. It took me longer to study, longer to do assignments but I did it! Why I am telling you all this?

The reason I am telling you all this is because like lots of people, I worked my ass off for my degree, to spend the last three years in childcare jobs that were offensively underpaid and undervalued, not by the employers as they understand the struggle but by the country and our government. Other degrees you receive can get you well paid jobs, why does a childcare degree differ? We are educators and besides from parents we are one of the most important people in a child's life. I am passionate about teaching others that I am an educator, and not just a glorified babysitter as I was once called. The reason I am ranting is because as I sit searching for jobs in other fields that I have little experience in. I am doubting if I am doing the right thing. Childcare in Toronto is also very underpaid and there is a lot to be done before becoming an early educator here. What I am doubting is if childcare is what I am meant to do over here? Do I want to be valued, paid well, have a job where you can come home and not worry about child and if they will be ok or do I want a almost minimum wage job where I educate children to become the best they can be and make an impact on their lives.

I believe I am a great early years educator but at the moment I am in limbo as to whether I was meant to do something else. Ok, its not life or death I can change jobs,I can go back to childcare when I come home or I can even apply to do it here. My point really is I want to be valued, respected and paid well for being good at what I do, be that childcare or the next venture I take. I was doubting my abilities this week when I was asked to do a trial in a coffee shop and then got a phone cancelling as they wanted someone with more experience. I found myself getting bitter towards working so hard to get a degree to find myself struggling to choose what path to go down.

So I have come to the conclusion, I will continue to look for other jobs that are not childcare jobs and I will get a good job, maybe not right away but eventually. The main thing is I want to be valued. My last job valued my skills and although they couldn't pay me like they would want to, they taught me so much. The most important thing they taught me was to believe in myself. So I have to keep doing that!

While we can't change the past or what we did or didn't do in college. We can change the way we think about the future and our place in it. I don't know if I was meant to do childcare for the rest of my life. I can't answer that. I am only 25, I have the chance to chop and change. All I know is I have to stop being my own worst enemy and not let people make me believe I am not good enough. Yes, I am finding it difficult to decide what to do over here but I have to remember what an amazing opportunity I have. I am living in Toronto. Not everyone gets to do this. So if you are ever feeling down or someone makes you feel your not good enough or your skills are not what they are looking for. Chin up. It wasn't meant to be.Believe in yourself  because YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Talk soon xx

Zita J

Reality bites!

Hey everyone,

Hope you all had a nice weekend. Sorry I didn't write a post last night I was very busy and I'll let you know why? Reality. As we have been enjoying this amazing Toronto summer, enjoying the company of friends and learning all about our new home away from home. Reality has just set in. After paying our first bills and our rent fast approaching, panic over not having jobs is starting to set in. Although it has been great exploring this city and doing new things, bills need to be paid and money is going out not coming in. As I joked before saying I'm jobless but fabulous, I'd also like to not be homeless and fabulous.

So last week, I got my ass in gear and really started applying for jobs and not just browsing the net seeing what would be fun. I have mentioned before I would like to do something different. Maybe stay away from childcare for awhile and try my hand at something new. I applied for two jobs, both in an advertising and marketing company. I have retail and promotional experience so I thought why not apply, go for an interview and see how I get on. I uploaded my resume to a well known recruitment company and within 24hours I got five interviews for jobs. Excited and nervous I accepted two interviews as the other three were a good bit outside Toronto. I bought myself some interview clothes and started preparing.

After researching the job description and the companies. I was sad to learn that the job spec might not be all what it cracked up to be but I went along to the first interview anyway. I was anxious as most people are before interviews while I still felt confident that I would be able to answer what was asked. The interview went well, I feel I answered the questions the best I could and remained my strange quirky self saying things like "ah sure if you can work with children, you can work anywhere" and receiving a rare smile in return. I was then informed what the job entailed. After nearly being sucked in by the perks of becoming manager in a short six months, I learned the job was in fact door to door sales for a charity. I admire anyone who can do this job. It is not easy to approach people asking for a donation and it is for a great cause but frankly it is not the job for me. Last night I received a call to inform me the interview went really well and they wanted to see me again but I declined. I also declined the second interview as it was the same job spec. I was very disappointed and now I am back to square one.

Me if I took the job haha!

Hopefully this week will be a better and I will get more interviews. I'm trying to stay positive because I don't want to be worrying just yet. So I'm going to leave ye now and get back to the job hunting. If only I got paid to write these posts, I'd love it! Cross your fingers and toes for me that I will get something I like soon.

Wish me luck!

Zita J 

xx

Its all about...Nancy!

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all recovered from the weekend, I hear the weather in Ireland was a washout. Don't despair though, it was awful here too. It rained for two days straight. First time its rained for that long since I got here. I cant complain really. Today is gorgeous and sunny however and I am inside writing this post. So a little update on how I am getting on. If I am honest, I found the past week pretty tough here. There is a lot going on back home that I wish I could be home for and while skyping a friend the other day I just wanted to climb into the laptop and be back in Cork. I don't think anyone can prepare you for that feeling, when you would do anything to just be with someone even for one hour when you are so far away but I suppose that is  the reality of moving away. Another reason why I am finding it hard this week is because I am not at home to watch my beautiful little niece turn three.

For anyone who knows me or anyone who is friends with me on any social media site you will already know that I am obsessed with my gorgeous godchild Nancy and I am damn proud of it too! I wrote a blog post about  what I am leaving behind before I left. Nancy was obviously a big part of that post. She is someone who I miss terribly as she is changing and growing so fast. She is stone mad! She comes up with the funniest things. I am not just biased because she is my niece but she is also the most beautiful little girl you will ever see (ok maybe I am a little biased). My sister puts up a blog post called Nancy Says on her blog Turquoise Flamingo and the things she comes out with are hilarious, I particularly  love that she has a few imaginary friends. One guy, Tony, who seems to be very old with a walking stick and a new girl called Trophy. She tells my sister when they are in the house and if they are awake etc. To be honest as I am typing this I am kinda glad I'm this far away...jokes!

Knowing I was going to find being away and missing big parts of Nancy's life difficult, my sister came up with this lovely idea. On her Instagram page @cathyflamingo she started a hashtag called #WatchNancyGrow and posts up photos all the time for me to see her grow and that way I don't miss a thing. Social Media can be a pain sometimes but when you are away from home it can make you feel so much closer. Skyping Nancy is so much fun as she constantly asks what I am doing and shows me random toys she has. She quickly always asks for Parker (she obsessed) and I soon become not so important anymore, which is totally perfect for me as it makes things feel the same, that nothing has changed. The downside of Skype is when you can't just hug her or when she asks "when are you coming home, Zita J?"

I sent a present home last week and was very sad to learn it would take 4-6 weeks but I hope she will enjoy it when it does get there (by Halloween..uhh). So as she turns three tomorrow, I will miss out! Although I am sad, I know the love that surrounds her already and that makes me happy again! Tomorrow on my J is for James page I will be putting up something special I did for Nancy in honour of her turning the big three..so watch out for it!

 For now, Happy Birthday to one of the most stylish, outgoing, funny, adorable, craziest three year old I know. I am proud of the little person you have become and I hope one day when I tell you all about my adventures in Canada you'll be proud of me too.

Love you lots xx

Auntie Zita J

Do It Yourself!

Hi Everyone,

New week, new start. At the moment, I like Mondays. The main reason is because that is the day I write my blog posts and probably another reason is because I'm still in holiday mode and not working on a Monday like most people.

Hope you all had a great weekend, for those that went to electric picnic, I hope you are extremely hungover!(I am not jealous at all). I had a great weekend here, its actually a long weekend (not like that matters for me because I am not working). I went out on Friday night, it was good fun and then yesterday we took a trip over to the Islands. I love the islands. Its a ten minute ferry ride to get over. There are beaches, picnic areas, restaurants, bike hire, boat tours and so on. You can do so much over there. However we just went drinking and listened to some music while taking in the sights. On the ferry back we got to see the city at night and it is just incredible, the photos don't do it justice!

Besides the weekend, all last week I have been very busy making our apartment, a home. I love being creative. I love thinking of ways to be different to everyone else, to not stick to the norm and just go with the flow and although that's great in theory, in practice it doesn't always work. Society, peers and confidence can all stop you from being different or doing something "weird" because you're too afraid of what people will think. I am trying to adopt a new attitude of just going with my ideas and then seeing how it works out after, At the moment, I am doing this in a smaller scale by being creative with our apartment and trying to make it different. Here are a few things I have done so far....

Storage Jars:

I bought these jars in a dollar shop. Most people would use them for food, spices etc. I am using them to hold our toothbrushes and cotton ear swabs. I think it looks pretty cool in our bathroom.

                                   

Mason Jam Jars:

I also bought these jars in the dollar shop. They are used for holding jam and the centre of the lid is removable so I bought them and put a night light in them. They make our coffee table very pretty.

Milk Bottles:

I got these old style milk bottles in IKEA for 99c! I am obsessed with them. I use them to drink out of and also for decoration. For 99c you can't go wrong.

Photo Frame:

I got this photo frame, once again in the dollar shop. I took out the glass and instead put in a sheet of cork which I cut to the size of the frame. When that was complete I stuck photos on with drawing pins, 

Coasters:

Out of the leftover cork sheets I made coasters for our drinks. I cut out circles after measuring the outline of a round bottomed glass. They work like a charm and although they can be mistaken for digestive biscuits, don't be fooled they are just cool looking coasters.

Chest of drawers: 

I was a bit nervous of doing this one. Firstly I was going to paint it pink but I thought that was probably lousy on Parker so I decided on a baby blue...not girly at all ;-) I bought the paint in, wait for it.. the dollar shop and we gave it one coat. I wanted it to be faint and still have a wooden look and I must say I am very happy with how it looks.

So there you have it, a little insight into a few DIY projects I have been getting up to. I am new to this whole DIY thing, not new to being creative. I would like to think I have always been that way. There is more to come like transforming this empty space (The Den)....

When I get a job and have a bit more money, I have great plans for the den so watch this space, ha.. Get it!

Have a great week lovelies and remember....

Talk soon xx

Zita J